One Day at a Time

Where to start... God is good... we'll start there.

Within a day... scratch that... HOURS of writing my last blog I felt so deeply encouraged by the Lord. I took a long walk on the beach that night (which, by the way is sorta creepy when you are by yourself at 10 pm) and just listened to the water. I love the sound of the waves crashing. That probably sounds poetically cheesy, but I do love it. I think its mysterious, powerful, and romantic. I stood there alone on the beach, facing the ocean (with the breeze in my hair... book cover in the making, no? But I wasn't in a dress that bared too much cleavage, or ripped up to my thigh, and Fabio wasn't lurking in the background) and I was aware of just a few things, but the main thought was just a simple, "It's ok." Astonishing and profound I know. Between reflecting and furtively looking over my shoulder (STRANGER DANGER) I felt like I was ready to start hearing the encouragement that I knew friends and family were waiting to give me.

And yes, you heard (read?) me correctly- I was ready to hear encouragement. Tuesday I was not in a place for such a thing. Ie when the Hubs so gently tried to lift my spirits I flippin' flipped out on him. God bless him... I can be so terrible sometimes! :) But that's where I was, and if there is one thing you can count on is that I am honest and I will tell you AAAAAALLLLL about it should you not tread so lightly... (maybe that's something I should work on?) Tuesday night I wanted to cry and to be sad and I didn't want to be happy. But by about midnight that night, I was ready.

The next day I had a good conversation with a dear friend from work (PUZZLE PIECE!) and she had some great input. She first reminded me that I have plenty of time, and then she also reminded me that once I have kids, I will have them FOREVER. This fact, stated so succinctly, has clearly been known to me as I don't plan on shucking my kids a few years after I have them, but it got me thinking. With this fresh in my mind, I am still ready to have my family, but instead of longing for the future, have embraced my current freedom. Because, let's face it, once you have kids your life is never the same. Granted, children could quite possibly be the greatest blessing you will ever receive (other than Jesus- don't get all technical on me people!), but your life does change and having kids is not reversible (are you all horrifically scared for my children, now?).

Just one day at a time... that's where I am. Waking up everyday, living in the moment, and trying desperately (and failing sometimes too) to live my life for God.