Duly Noted

I'm currently on my flight back home to southern California after having the wonderful pleasure of watching my little brother graduate from college. The pride that I felt watching him accept his diploma was incredible.

The speaker at the ceremony was first lady Michelle Obama. Now, politics are far from my forte and generally speaking I could really care less about the subject overall. That being said, I like Michelle; she is poised, well spoken, and delivered her speech with charm and a self-deprecation that made her more relatable than I would have thought. Her speech was fairly run of the mill and nothing to call home about but there was something that she said that stuck out to me. She said to be present in the lives of those whom you love.

What does it mean to be present? To be present in someone's life there needs to be legitimate effort and intention about spending quality time. It means that you are an active and essential role in those people's lives. It means that you show genuine interest and care about what is going on in their lives.

Reading what it means to be present is difficult for two reasons: 1) I see where I am notably dropping the ball in areas with some of my loved ones, and 2) it becomes glaringly obvious as to how present some people want to be in mine, which therein causes me to question, do they really care about me?

Let's face it people, communication is not what it used to be... "liking" my facebook status isn't being present but sadly that is what has become the norm.

The Beatles sang that "all you need is love," and while I disagree with that statement intrinsically, I do think that love is a powerful gift that is vastly underused or expressed. We like to say, "I love you" and feel that should be enough, but the Bible states that faith without deeds(actions) is dead...couldn't the same be said about love? I would argue that if your actions do not show love for someone, then you don't love them because if you did then it would be worth the time and the effort to show them.

Being present takes effort, yeah I know we're busy...but when we look back on our life, wouldn't it be nice to know that you loved those around you with everything you had, with no regrets?

I'm not gonna remember the times that you commented on my twitter status, or even that YouTube link that you posted on my wall... I'm gonna remember the times that someone took my call in the middle of the night, or when I ran out of gas and someone drove out to help me, or someone bringing me my favorite coffee just because... I could go on but I think you get the idea (if not we may need to address other issues with you than "being present").

Be present and let your actions be the truth that bring your words to life.

Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $200 Dollars

Well, by the title of the post if you have not deduced I did not qualify for the marathon. I came in at a respectable 4:27 which I am happy with even tho I did not qualify. I could list off several reasons as to what went wrong and why it's not MY fault that I didn't qualify... but at the end of the day I didn't do it. I am so glad that I completed it tho and I am proud of myself for a new Marathon PR time.

One of my favorite parts of the day was getting to watch my friend (and training client) run across the finish line. I am sooo proud of her and she is a certified badass.

I know that one day I will qualify for Boston because I now have faith (well a little bit) in myself and my abilities and believe that I will be able to improve upon this by using it as a learning experience. However, that marathon will not be anytime soon... I need to fully forget how terrible running a consecutive 26.2 miles is... :)

The Road to Boston Part IV: GAME DAY

It is approximately 10 am as I begin to write this and if all goes according to my plan then I will be done with my marathon this time tomorrow. I take a drink of my coffee and then deeply exhale as relief washes over me that this will soon be over.

The journey to get here has been exhausting, both mentally and physically. There has certainly been athletic growth that has taken place; I’m no elite runner by any means, but I am faster than I have ever been and I am proud of that. There has also been a lot of mental and emotional growth for me throughout this process.

Qualifying for Boston was one of those dreams that you say without really thinking… or you say it and hope that no one hears you or remembers that you said it. For me it has always been an intangible dream that I never really thought that I could accomplish. I am often crippled by my less than average self esteem and because of it I am constantly held back. I have these moments of self confidence and then my doubts and insecurities creep up on me and devour those fleeting thoughts before I can really grasp them as truth.

Right now, in these final hours of preparation, I believe in my heavenly Father, who I know gave me the ability to do this, I believe in my friend’s judgment that I am capable of completing this, and I believe in my training. I trained hard. Yes, there were things I could have done much better, but I believe that I am properly trained to undergo this task. So tomorrow morning, when I am at mile 22 and hitting that wall, I will be able to rest (metaphorically speaking) in these beliefs and will know that I can do it.

If I don’t qualify, I will be disappointed… I think that’s normal and that anyone would be. However, for me at this point it’s about the journey… I have never pushed myself so hard to accomplish something, and at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter, because even if right now it’s just a small voice, there is a whisper in my heart that says, “I can do it.”

Normally I don’t name people by their real names in the blog but today I am going to. These people have stuck by me thru training sessions, thru tears, thru gripes and complaints and have offered countless words of advice, support, and encouragement over this time. Ryan and Jeremy: my coaches who always believe in me and push me well beyond my limits, but more importantly they are also my dear friends who patiently listened about my fears and concerns and helped me see past them. Shanna, Brandon, Emily, Heidi, and Christine: my cheer squad… you all have been soooo supportive and I knew just where to go whenever I needed a pick me up! I count you all as some of my closest friends and I love you so much! Adam and Chuck: my brothers from another mother… I couldn’t have done this without you guys and am so thankful that you’ll both be there on race day to root me on. I love you guys!!! There have been so many other friends who have rooted me on but listing EVERYONE would take forever, but your encouragement is not overlooked and I am very thankful for every single person.

Well… wish me luck… here goes nothing…

Just Breathe