Friday, August 24, 2012

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Recently while lounging poolside and doing a bit of day-drinking (no judging please- mini vacation with my bestie in town) I stumbled upon a soap box so naturally I stood on it. After ranting for several minutes I finally was able to shut my trap but I found it worth mentioning.

Summer is awesome and arguably my favorite time of year. I love the sun, the heat, laying out by the pool, hanging out at the beach, BBQing, and how it stays light so late. Something I do not love about summer is that it somehow gives girls the license to dress like whores. Maybe whore is too harsh of a word... skanks, sluts, tramps, hookers, or hoes are also acceptable interchangeable terms. The reason this offends me is not because I am jealous and wish that I had the body or the confidence to pull it off. It is because it makes me sad that girls lack the self-respect to dress appropriately for their age. No, not just for their age, just dress appropriately period (tho I will admit that I feel much more saddened by the girl wearing the crop-top and barely-there mini skirt that I am pretty sure was wearing diapers last week).

It's not like I don't get it ladies (I use the term ladies loosely here I guess). Dressing skantily will definitely get you attention from the fellas and I understand that it feels good and strokes your ego. When a guy is checking you out you feel awesome (unless he's super creepy), it makes you feel desired and sexy and those aren't inherently bad things. But much like men who put on a show are compensating for something, you thrusting your cleavage down everyone's throat is doing the exact same thing. It might scream, "I've got a great rack" (hopefully), but in reality it says, "Hey, I'm insecure but think I have a pretty awesome body". It is displaying a lack of respect that you feel about yourself because you are not willing (or don't know how) to put value in yourself as a person, and not just your body.

Now some girls reading this post are hating on me because I don't think that daisy dukes and a bikini top are appropriate mall attire and they are probably saying things like, "Well she is probably fat and ugly and just jealous because she can't do it." To that I can say that I don't think I'm a supermodel by any means (like, not even close). I'm very average-ish, with girl-next-door qualities; but I do know that when I am receiving attention from a man it is based on my character and not because my booty is hanging out of my dress (I couldn't with a straight face say it had anything to do with my "rack" bc I don't got one). There are some nights that I do want to feel beautiful and sexy, but there are ways to do this without being a classless hooker. Because let me emphasize this, there is NOTHING wrong with feeling comfortable in your own skin and loving your body. I LOVE that and feel like you can love your body and still demand respect by not subjecting yourself to being ogled over and drooled on.

To the teeny-tiny population of women who aren't insecure and rock the tiny dresses just bc they subscribe to the "if you got it, flaunt it" mentality, then good for you. Tho while you may not be insecure, you may want to examine why it's so important to you that you receive so much attention regarding your physical appearance (vain much?). I truly believe that even tho you are confident and secure that you are still compensating for something, but that's a battle for another day.

Short note to my male homies out there... I am SO tired of you complaining about women dressing like sluts but then checking them out on the reg. You DO realize that women notice you checking them out right? Your glazed expression and slack jaw are not easily concealed, and therefore that girl that you called a slut a minute ago is reveling in the fact that you think she's hot. She dressed that way to get your attention and congratulations, you gave it to her. So piece of advice for you, you want girls to stop dressing like hoes? Then stop looking at them and give the decent girls at the bar a chance.

And girls, don't be mistaken or naive- the guys ARE calling you skanks and whores no matter how much they like the way you look. And while you start chatting him up and thinking about your first, second, and third dates, he is thinking about your mouth and wondering if you are wearing underwear (not exactly thinking about introducing you to Mom).

Years will pass, your physical body will fade, and what will remain is who you are... your character, your integrity... don't sell out those things for what you see as a moment in the sun, because if you do you will find yourself struggling to get out of the shade for the rest of your life.

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