I feel compelled to write so consider this my best effort. Not really sure what I can say, or what I am willing to express here, but I know that I need to write. Words are aching to be released from me...but now what to say...
The last time I posted was in April...to say that a lot has happened since April would be a "mild" understatement. For privacy purposes of parties involved I will not go into detail of what is going on, but rest assured that all parties are doing ok. During this time I have gone thru so many ups and downs, and I am happy to say that I have finally leveling out a bit...a bit. I have discovered some areas that I am incredibly weak, and I have discovered some ways I am incredibly strong... or stubborn... take your pick.
Today I am having a bit of a down day so tears have welled and threatened to spill over continually. So during my down days I like to reflect on things I have to be thankful for. My number one reason is always God... the strength, courage, and perseverance that He gives me is unfathomable and I know that I would not be living if it weren't for Him.
After God are my wonderful friends and family who love on me day in and day out even when I'm feeling so unlovable. Every single one of them has had to put up with a bit of crazy and for that I apologize. Below are some anonymous thanks to a few close (understatement) friends who have helped me tremendously during this time.
My Puzzle Piece, who listens to me when I'm being irrational and dramatic and has probably heard the same crap at least a thousand times... thank you for never giving up on me and always being a reality check. You see thru my mistakes and know who I am at the core, you speak truth and logic into every situation and anchor me when I feel myself slipping away.
My BRoll, my faraway friend who I wish was closer but is always there in a heartbeat and who will sit patiently on the other end of the phone line while I just cry and cry...thank you for being someone who knows me in and out and is always my number one supporter. You love me for who I am truly and you are always so supportive and encouraging.
My BBD, who can always make me smile and laugh in the face of adversity...thank you for always being there and offering a smile and a hug whenever I need it. It is our differences that I celebrate in as you offer a new and fresh perspective, and while we don't always see eye to eye, we love eachother and are there for eachother thru and thru and that's what matters.
My Angels, who have been placed between a rock and a hard place unfortunately, have handled the last couple months with such grace, understanding, and wisdom that it is hard for me to comprehend. I love you both so much and am (as usual) grateful for your impact in my life.
And lastly, and maybe mostly, to My Guard Dog, who has seen me at my worst during these months, knows every one of my secrets, but somehow manages to still love me...thank you doesn't begin to express what's in my heart. The strength and support that you have offered during this trying time is infinite. Thank you for your loyalty, your friendship, and your faithfulness...it is not overlooked and it is not taken lightly.
It is because of my wonderful friends that I feel like I can get up in the morning. It is because of them that I try to be a better person. And it is because of them that I keep forging ahead. I don't know what lies ahead, but with friends like these, I know that whatever comes my way, it's handled.
I am lucky... I am blessed... I am loved.
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