Thursday, March 21, 2013

Attack of the Obtuse Monster

 I'm not exactly sure how it started but I started referring to myself as a monster... I would finish working out and I would say I was a sweaty monster... if I was in a bad mood I was a grumpy monster... if I was being weird I was a silly monster... I think you get the idea. Well, my verbage was used often enough that the Favorite picked up on it and now I am his monster, and while this is almost embarrassing to say out loud, yes, that is his most commonly used pet name for me... Monster. Oddly enough I find it endearing, probably because I consider myself to be more in the Gremlin category (cute just don't feed me after midnight) and not IT status...he has yet to confirm where HE thinks the truth lies...

Well the Favorite has established, and was well warranted to do so, that in me lives an Obtuse Monster (his word choice). She does not see reason, she is stubborn, and her logic is grounded firmly in Narnia (aka does not exist). She tends to be inconsolable, and really nothing you say or do can help, but it most certainly can make things worse. On the other hand, staying silent can have just as explosive results, so it is always best to proceed cautiously. Fun right? Fortunately, this monster does not surface too often (according to me at least).

My sources tell me she was on the loose yesterday, March 18th. Hopefully not too many were hurt. In a rare interview the Monster has opened up and offers not only an apology but tries to show the reasoning behind the attack(the monster has also apologized directly to the Favorite as he often takes the brunt of the attack).

"I can't explain exactly why things happen the way that they do... I just start feeling insecure and scared and so lashing out just seems like the natural way to protect myself. I am not trying to hurt anyone, it really just feels like an irrational act of self preservation."

All joking (and monsters) aside, insecurities and fears manifest in our daily lives and there are bad days where the manifestation results in self destructive behavior. I'm lucky enough that my Favorite sees right through these walls that I put up, and gently helps me take them down just as quickly as I put them up. His patience and wisdom is to be envied, and he understands me like no one ever has. 

This monster is so lucky... she knows that she is incredibly blessed to have a man like the Favorite love her so completely even when she is showing her worst monstrous side. And instead of turning heel and going the other way, he takes her hand and comforts her until all that remains is his sweet little gremlin.

I love you Favorite. Thank you for letting me be me, helping me be better, and for showing me how powerful love can truly be.

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