ONE HUNDRED

I've recounted several times because part of me just cannot believe it, but sure enough, today, September 19, 2012, is Day 100 of being healthy.

Okay... so truth time... I'm cheating a little bit because I want to post this first thing in the morning and I really don't want to have to write this early in the morning... so I'm actually perched on the floor on Day 100 Eve typing this. However, I have faith that I will make it to the morning.

These last 100 days have been quite the journey but I find myself sitting in a very comfortable place in life. I can say with quite a bit of satisfaction that I barely ever think about the food that I eat anymore. I eat mostly healthy, with the seldom (well occasional... or often...ok ok almost daily) treat. I feel like I have found a healthy balance in life that brings me great joy and peace. I do still have my rough days where I know that I shouldn't indulge in certain items, but I have become disciplined enough to recognize these signs and have learned how to effectively sidestep the pitfalls without being obsessed with them.

To be honest I'm having a hard time thinking of what much else to write. I am incredibly happy and proud of my progress but other than feeling subdued elation I am at a lack of words (shocking, I know). The one lesson that I can say with certainty that I have learned is that it's ok to fail... in fact... getting to this day I have literally failed hundreds (seriously... literally) of times over the years in trying to conquer my eating disorder. And while I sincerely hope that I have seen the last of it, I am not afraid of failing anymore, because I can recognize that each failure played its role in my eventual success.

I feel lame because this post is fairly boring, maybe somewhat anticlimactic, but I guess that's how success is sometimes. You expect it to be this huge mountain topping, fireworks exploding, orgasmic (yup, I went there) release but the truth is that success often rolls in peacefully; emmanating a quiet comfort with each breath you take, and allowing a natural joy to seep out of every pore. As this happens that heavy burden is lifted, and as you are able to unhunch your shoulders, lift your head, and able to set your eyes onto the road before you.

 Super cheesy saying (but true so whatevs): it's not how we fall, but how we get back up. To that end, I got nothing more to say except keep kickin' ass and takin' names out there peeps.