Thursday, January 20, 2011

Long Meeting = Wandering Mind

We all know that as a geek to the core I love to learn. We also know that my attention span starts to wane quickly, especially without visual aids, so when it was announced that we were going to have a two-day educational meeting I was eager to attend.

My eagerness waned...HARD... on the first eight hour day where I struggled to sit still and focus on anything he was saying. Below are my ABC's of idle thoughts that I recorded during day two of the Neverending Educational Course:

A) my costco list
B) do I want to get pink or berry colored lip-liner?
C) I need a stain stick... how do I know which one to get?
D) I think I need to get my shoes shined, but you never see women getting their shoes shined... do they?
E) Hmmm... shoes... (I won't bore you with the many details that followed but this topic was in my head for awhile)
F) the Victoria's Secret sale ends this weekend, when am I going to go??? (Nevermind the fact that I already shopped it online AND in the store... )
G) I wonder if you can actually buy one of those guns like Batman has where you shoot it and it attaches to another building with a cable and then you can zipline across...I want to use one right now...must escape conference room!
H) How did Underdog get his powers?
I) Why is it that everyone else loves avocados but I don't think they taste at all?
J) Food for superbowl sunday
K) How do they generate sudoku puzzles?
L) I wish I had a sudoku puzzle right now.
M) Or any puzzle for that matter.
N) I need new music for my ipod.
O) Ugh I hate my phone... I need to find out when I am out of my stupid cell contract
P) Who is going to fall asleep first in this meeting? There is some serious head-bobbing going on...
Q) Book store... I have to go soon...
R) I must research the best karaoke bar in Orange County
S) What would I do if a giant spider came bursting into the room right now?
T) or a DINOSAUR!??!??!
U) Like what if all of a sudden a velociraptor came BURSTING in here...scary
V) COFFEEEEEEEEE!!!!
W) How old is this guy anyway?
X) I need a beer
Y) or two.
Z) It's five o'clock somewhere

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Birthday Wishes

Today I am 29.

I only require two things on my birthday--- SOMEONE must sing me Happy Birthday, and I must make a wish and blow out candles. I am not a superstitious (maybe just a little-stitious) person who believes that making wishes will actually make them come true. But there is this intangible, almost magical (whoa do I feel dumb using that word) feeling that I get as I stare at the candles (or candle- it doesn't have to be the number of the age that I am turning!).

I don't know what I will actually wish for tonight when I blow out my candles, but I know this.

For Christmas of 2008 a friend at work gave me a daily calendar of affirmations. You know, those ones where you rip the page off everyday. Most of the affirmations were a little too hokey for me but I dutifully revealed the next page daily.

One of the pages I kept and still have stuck on my cubicle wall. It reads simply, "I have a dream, and I know that I deserve to have this dream come true." In my mind I modify it and say that I have dreams, and I deserve to have them come true. Because really, who has only ONE dream?

My wish is that I would follow this. So often I find myself stuck in the mundane daily cycle of this thing we call life, settling for mediocrity when I know that if maybe I were to actually try, that something would change. If I'm honest, it is also fear that bridles me. I worry that if I actually try, and then fail, that I will look foolish, feel embarassed, and will find myself exactly where I started. But this mindset, I know, will only hold me back, so it's time to shed that skin, and put on my big girl britches (is it weird that I immediately get a visual of oversized, white granny-panties?).

My wish is not just for me, but for all who have a dream that seems out of reach. Life is one chance... one... and then that's it. Now my fear of failure does not trump my fear that one day I will look back and say, "If only...". If I reach the end of my life and I can look back and say, "Well at least I tried..." then I consider it a success.

To think that we could have all we ever wanted but just never took hold of it. It does take a leap of faith, and accomplishing your dreams will probably mean taking a few spills along the way. But dreams aren't supposed to be easy... you ever thought about that? That dreams are supposed to be big, and seemingly unreachable.

Well, f unreachable.

It's time that we got a little dirty, put the work in, and reach our dreams. Sorry, Cinderella, but dreams don't come true by just believing. It takes effort and most of us don't have Fairy Godmothers chilling in our back pockets. Yes, it is a daunting and seemingly insurmountable task, but if your dream is not worth your application and energy, then I am not sure you are dreaming the right dream.

I will not be the fool left standing empty handed... don't let yourself be either.